Wednesday's Joke of the Day

Victoria said, "We've no quarrel
With Shakespeare, but this is immoral!
His Measure for Measure
Incurs our displeasure;
We don't do such things at Balmoral."
(Frank Richards)

The only way I can win
If you give in to a little sin
Happily that's the only way
So please let me know the day
You would like all the fun to begin

Any yard work, to me, is not play.
To my wife words of praise I did say:
"When you're out cutting grass,
You're my favorite lass,
And I lawn for you mower each day."
(Kirk Miller)

There's an ice cream truck theft. No one knows
Who the culprits are, causing some woes
For the cops. It's a shame;
They don't know who to blame.
To the Cold Case Department it goes.
(Kirk Miller)

Gynecologist said, "Go conceive."
Now in steam baths she sits, I believe.
I am not quite able
To congrat by cable,
So a sauna-gram's what she'll receive.
(Kirk Miller)

A pun is a form of word play.
As when a man to a mother did say:
"Is your little boy spoiled?"
The mother recoiled:
"Course not! He just smells that way!"
(Charles Wukasch)

In the work place, the man is destructive.
Kitchen counters they make; he's obstructive.
Every day when at work,
All his duties he'll shirk.
Doesn't want to be counter productive.
(Kirk Miller)

The podiatrist used lots of skill
On the aches of a patient named Phil.
But insurance won't pay,
So Phil says with dismay,
"It appears I'll be footing the bill